About this Book

What would you do if your husband told you he’d fallen in love with another man or thinks he might be gay or bisexual? What would you do if you discovered your wife's texts, photos or emails indicating she has a female lover or wonders if she might be lesbian or bisexual? Well, this happens, a shattering reality that at least two million men and women among us have faced and tried to understand and accept even as we were unseen and our voices unheard. What? Who are we? We are husbands and wives left behind when our spouses came out or after we discovered they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Shocked and paralyzed and then swirling in the devastating wake of this unexpected revelation about our beloveds, we had to pick up the unrecognizable pieces of our former lives and try to reconfigure them without much outside support, recognition, or understanding of the depth of the crisis. Yes, straight spouses typically cope alone with unique issues of sexuality,betrayal, and a broken belief system. Slowly, slowly, we redefine ourselves, build new lives, affirm the joy of living, and reap life’s infinite possibilities. We invite you to walk with us and experience our journey from the first desperate cries of discovery or disclosure to the insights and wisdom gained as we resolve our issues and transform our lives. As you observe and listen, we hope you will embrace the courage, creativity, and resilience of our inner strength, which we didn't know we had, yet was so powerful that lifelong habits were broken and we became uniquely and marvelously who we were meant to be.