I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.

Any gamers who lived through the Sonic the Hedgehog era and didn't own a SEGA console will vividly remember their perpetual yearning for an official, authentic port, or failing that, a clone that could match the blue speedball's extreme pace and effortlessly nonchalant attitude. For Amiga owners et al, the closest we ever came to achieving this lofty ideal was prescribed by Gremlin Graphics' Zool; the ninja hailing from the Nth dimension. Note that I didn't for a second allude to the Formicidae family because I wouldn't dream of planting that absurd notion in your minds. He's definitely not an ant of any kind. Bearing any remote similarity to attributes that constitute antness are purely coincidental, so should be relegated to the attic of your brain where you store cobwebs, dead bluebottles and repressed memories of childhood trauma.